Thursday, December 23, 2010

1st Christmas

Dear Son,

  Christmas is in 2 days and I'm so excited for your very first one! We got you books and a couple educational toys. You got your very own stocking too!

I know you won't remember it, but I hope to make your first Christmas a good one and take photos of you "opening" your gifts.

Mama loves you!
 Mama

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Christmas Time

Dear Son,
 
 Christmas is upon us, but we have yet to get a tree or decorate with lights. I hope to get a tree this weekend so you can marvel at the pretty lights and colors.

I tried to give you a rubber teether last night to see what you'd do and you went crazy chomping on it over and over. I guess you truly are about to start teething!

I also shook this colorful toy with noise and you got so excited, you were about to jump out of my arms. You become more and more active every single day, its amazing.

We have a photo session tomorrow with a professional photographer, I'm super excited to see how they come out!

Well mama is at work so I guess I should get busy, huh.

Love you,
 Mama

Thursday, December 2, 2010

Surgery Done!

Dear Son,

 You were SO brave during the ordeal at the hospital on Tuesday. I was very proud, you weren't afraid at all until after you got out. I wish it had been easier and quicker for you. I wish you didn't cry for 4 hours straight. I wish the nurses would have given you something for pain more quickly. I'm sorry your favorite paci was lost forever!

Seeing you all hooked up to wires brought flashbacks to your NICU days, I hated it.

The lactation consultant says you are not quite ready to try breastfeeding, so you and I will work on it alone and go back to see her in a week.

I love you baby boy,
 Mama

Sunday, November 28, 2010

2 Days

Dear Son,

  Unfortunately, they delayed your procedure until Tuesday. We will find out tomorrow about the time and then Tuesday we'll go in. They said I can't feed you for 6 hours and to give you juice or water. I didn't like that, you've never had anything but breast milk and formula.

They are putting you under which is quite scary for your mama, but we'll see how it goes. I hope its easy and pain-free for you and nothing out of the ordinary happens.

You're such a good boy!

Love always,
 Mama

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Tongue-Tied

Dear Son,

  Today we are getting your tongue "fixed". I am told its a simple and relatively painless procedure, please forgive mama for putting you through more than you've already endured. This should be a walk in the park compared to your first 4 days of life in the NICU.

I am doing this for your future because I'm told it may interfere with your speech development. Also, I hope we can breastfeed. If not its ok, thank you for being patient with me regardless.

Be brave my love,
 Mama

Monday, November 15, 2010

YAY!

Dear Son,
 
 I'm so excited, due to the furlough at work I get to take Wednesdays off to be with you for the next month! We are going to go back to that breastfeeding support group mama loves so much and hang out with awesome women and their babies.

Last night mama was cleaning botttles and put her hair up on her head and it must've looked funny because you laughed out loud over and over and over.

Today is week 2 of full time daddy day care, be a good boy for your uncle and daddy!

Love,
 Mama

Sunday, November 14, 2010

Week 1

Dear Son,

 We had a rough week with me going back to work and your training daddy how to care for you full time. I missed you terribly and everyday I think of ways to make money and stay home with you. I have your photos all over my desk and on my computer as well as in my pump bag. I'm keeping up with pumping, you've been fed exclusively breastmilk for a week now! NO FORMULA YAY!

We are still waiting for a referral for the ENT, so please understand you may have some pain when they clip your frenulum to free your tongue. Our goal is to breastfeed once you are no longer tongue-tied, I hope we can accomplish that.

Love forever,
Mama

Sunday, November 7, 2010

Scary Days

Dear Son,
 
 You gave us quite the scare with first the wimpering and screaming on Friday after your shots, and then with the projectile vomiting for 9 hours last night. We went to the ER and of course you had nothing to show them and they sent us home! lol

I'm glad you're ok though, I was really worried. Mama is SO tired now, but I don't want to move you from my sight so you're sleeping on my side of the bed. Maybe when daddy gets up he'll watch you while I nap.

Back to work tomorrow, big day for both of us. I've never been away from you for more than an hour and even then you were just upstairs!

I love you my big boy!
Mama

Friday, November 5, 2010

Icky Shots

Dear Son,
 
Today are your 2 month shots, please don't cry too much...its going to break mama's heart!

My big boy, growing up so fast!

Love you,
 Mama

Thursday, November 4, 2010

We did it!

Dear Son,

  Mama has been struggling to feed you only her breastmilk since you got out of the NICU and I've tried everything under the sun to make that happen. Today, my dearest love, I got my best amount of breastmilk EVER! I'm SO excited, I don't want to wake you but I want to shout out loud! I hope to continue to give you the best I have to give for at least another 10 months  :)

I love you to the moon and back,
 Mama

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Work, Work, Work

Dear Son,

  I go back to work in 6 days and the thought of leaving you is heartbreaking. We have spent nearly 1500 hours together with no more than a 1 hour break apart since you were born (after the NICU stay that is).

I have done my best to prepare your "dada" as he likes to call himself (lol) to care for you, please be patient with him he doesn't know what he's doing. He may put you in a diaper that leaks until he gets the hang of tightening them or feed you old milk (though I hope not), but I think you'll be ok!

My goal is to give you the best of this world and I do that each day by feeding you breastmilk, cloth diapering your bum and kissing you as often as I can.

Let's make this transition to work an easy one! I love you to pieces

Mama

Monday, November 1, 2010

GOAL!!!

Dear Son,

  Thank you for being so amazing! I love to kiss your little face...but love...can we please stop spitting up gallons of breastmilk down mama's cami? I know there is a valley between my breasts which is a perfect goalpost to aim for, but it stinks to clean up down to my belly and then change my shirt!

I love you always,
 Mama

P.S. Talking to the ceiling spirits is eerie! Are they good spirits??

Sunday, October 31, 2010

Good Morning, Angel Boy!

Dear Son,

   I sit here while you sleep only inches from me, you are so beautiful my angel! Your arms are up above your head (silly boy) and the sunlight is casting an amazing white light onto your body and face.

I just finished pumping breastmilk for your next meal, boy I can't wait till we can try to breastfeed again! I love the gift I'm giving you, but its hard on a mommy to be tied to her pump 7 times a day. I wish that we had added you to my insurance before it expired, it would have been so much easier than dealing with this waiting game.

My love, please take each day as a blessing in your future and realize every experience in life (good and bad) can teach you something. Hatred and ignorance has no place in your future son, the world has no room for any less understanding and acceptance.

Meet your challenges with open arms and realize that people have different colors, different personalities, different ways of thinking and you need not conform to any but your own. There is no need to speak poorly of the beliefs and lifestyle of someone else, we all make mistakes as you will find out.

I love you always,
 Mama